First and foremost, please be more compassionate towards yourself. You should not feel ashamed for having needs.
Secondly, the most important thing you can do for yourself is to learn emotional intelligence. By gaining more emotional intelligence, you will likely need less external support to guide you through emotional situations. You can gain emotional intelligence through: therapy, meditation, journaling, and mindfulness.
Third, remember: Your relationships are not transactional. You do not need to keep a running tally of who-owes-who what, and feel guilty if your side has more tics.
Economies of care need to be prioritized in our world in order to remove ourselves from capitalism, as solidarity is the antithesis to oppression. And with care as an economy, capitalism’s ideologies can be easily applied to it, and often is because we are so used to framing our world through a capitalistic-lens. Remember to always recognize how we have been conditioned, and to spend time unlearning certain behaviours.